A book for children about miscarriage

One-third of early pregnancies end in miscarriage. It is emotionally wrenching for the anticipating parents and there are support groups, and many resources to help them deal with the loss. But what about young children? How does one help a young child who also was expecting a new brother or sister to play with?

A Johns Hopkins-trained, board certified OB/GYN, and an associate professor at the University of Central Florida College of Medicine, Dr. I. Cori Baill often wished that she had a picture book resource for her patients and their families. Now semi-retired, she has written "Why is Mommy Crying? - explaining early pregnancy loss to young children" (River Grove Books, Jan. 19, 2021).

"One is often at a loss how to engage with those who are in grief, whether adult or child," Baill said. "Because miscarriage is an all-too-common occurrence, most readers likely know someone who has experienced this sadness. 'Why is Mommy Crying?' offers comfort to parents, grandparents, extended family and friends."

The beautifully illustrated book is written so that children as young as three can grasp in a loving way that the expected baby is gone, without using hard-to-understand medical terminology. Another interesting intended factor is that illustrator Heather Bell drew the family as multiethnic, making the story subtly inclusive to all children.

"This book offers young ones help navigating their fears while reassuring them that their feelings are understandable," said Baill. "A nondenominational God is brought into the story by the young protagonist struggling to understand what has made his mother sad. His imagery and ideas offer a gentle springboard to discuss with children and the adults who love them, broader concepts surrounding grief and recovery."

Dr. Baill noted that Jewish ritual has little to say regarding early pregnancy loss. "I have seen a couple called to the Torah for Birkat Hagomel, a prayer of gratitude following a perilous journey, but can also follow recovery from illness or injury." She added, "Ironically, Judaism holds up the infertile Hannah as a model of piety when she pours out her infertility heartbreak in silent prayer. But in Judaism, perhaps in part because an infant is considered unformed until the head has passed through the birth canal, there is no ritual for mourning at any stage of pregnancy loss and so little to comfort the mother and her family."

"Why is Mommy Crying?" helps its recipients know that the door is open, and a caring person is on the other side. Dr. Baill came across one organization that specifically supports the Jewish community -the group is 'I Was Supposed to Have a Baby' at https://iwassupposedtohaveababy.org/. There, social media is used to create a supportive space for those dealing with infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, and those exploring surrogacy and adoption. Additional resources are listed on the last page of the book.

Danielle Ofri, MD, PhD, clinical professor of medicine and author of "What Doctors Feel: How Emotions Affect the Practice of Medicine," said of the book, "A sensitive and stunningly illustrated story that helps younger children navigate the emotions in the wake of a miscarriage. 'Why is Mommy Crying' manages the remarkable feat of acknowledging the very real pain while simultaneously reassuring children that they are safe and loved."

Along with her many professional accomplishments, Dr. Baill is a published short story author, wife, mother of two, and a rescue dog adoptee.

Bell holds BFA in painting from the Kansas City Art Institute, is a member of SCBWI, a participant in the 12 x 12 Picture Book Challenge, and a Children's Book Academy graduate. When not illustrating and writing, she searches out story ideas as an undercover school bus driver. Bell is an author/illustrator represented by Kaitlyn Sanchez at Olswanger Literary Agency.

"Why Is Mommy Crying?" is available on amazon and wherever children's books are sold.